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A father’s love: Robert Higgins’s story

Dec 02, 2023

“We packed a lot of living into those few years.” Robert Higgins spoke softly on the phone, recalling memories of his father and of his quest to rediscover his resting place. “It was the 60th anniversary of his passing in March,” he recalled. “He was only 35 when he died from TB.

“I believe each and every one of us deserves a plaque or a grave for people to be able to come to and remember us.” In the hustle and bustle of life, Robert had lost track of his father’s grave in the sprawling cemetery at Cornelian Bay. On a home visit from his coordinator Therese Silva, he told her of his desire to find the grave again so he could pay his respects to his father. She was of course more than happy to help and following the CBS value of doing that bit extra, she set about researching. Therese got in touch with the cemetery and soon had a breakthrough.

“Therese helped me find it through the Caretakers Cottage at the cemetery in Cornelian Bay. She was really good and supportive, and that meant a lot to me.”

Describing the moment of finding the grave, he shared, “I felt really good to have found it but also very sad at the condition we found it in. It had been a long time since I’d seen it and it was just a mound of grass that had sank down. I’ve saved up some of my pension to restore it.”

Robert’s support worker Rebecca has helped Robert liaise with the cemetery around getting a new plaque arranged and has accompanied him on visits. There are plans in place to enhance the grave by incorporating rocks and planting flowers in the future. Rebecca has already reached out to the groundskeepers to discuss Robert’s wishes.

Reflecting on the significance to him of his father’s grave, Robert expressed, “I was only 11 when he died…so it’s important to honour his memory and have that place to visit, to pay respects. I believe each and every one of us deserves a plaque or a grave for people to be able to come to and remember us.”

Robert recalls his father’s love, a presence that countered the hardships of his youth, saying, “Yes, I never forget him. I had some bad moments in my childhood but the love of my father made up for that. The nurses mentioned he called for me in his final moments, that’s always stuck with me – his love for me.”

Nothing is out of the ordinary in aged care and requests like Robert’s and the heartwarming stories behind them are what make this such a rewarding sector to work in.

Aged Care Coordinator Therese was delighted to help Robert work together with the cemetery and his support worker saying, “When Robert mentioned his concern about locating his father’s grave, I could sense his distress. The team at Cornelian Bay were so helpful. And then of course, Robert’s support workers were totally onboard to help Robert give the site a spruce up in readiness for the new plaque.  It’s been a real team effort with  a very satisfying outcome”.

Robert has a Home Care Package with Community Based Support which has enabled him to access the social support that helps him keep in touch with his father’s memory.

Pictured above: Two thank you cards that Robert sent to CBS coordinator Therese Silva.

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